Tara Haring: More Than the Finish Line

How injury changed my relationship with running, rest, and who I am as an athlete.

Tara Haring, collegiate cross-country and track athlete.

I have been an athlete majority of my life, starting defining when I was just 3 or 4 years old. Eventually dance turned into soccer, swimming, basketball, and eventually track and field. From the time I started running there has been potential, even when I would run the mile test in gym class and beat all the boys.

From the age of 13 I was already being given expectations from the high school coach which led to him letting me practice with the high school runners even though I was still in middle school. As many of us did, I lost my freshman season to the COVID-19 Pandemic, so I already felt like I was wasting my potential.

Sophomore year I had a great season, going to the District Championship Meet as part of both the 4x400m relay and the 4x800m relay, where we a 4th place medal in the 4x400 and a 3rd place medal in the 4x800. My junior year is where my running career truly took off. Before the season even started college coaches began reaching out to me, including East Stroudsburg University, where I decided to run for and study Counseling Psychology.

I was running a new PR in the 800m run practically every week, and I earned a spot qualifying individually for the District Championship Meet once again, as well as returning with my 4x400m relay team. I ended up running another PR at distracts, and I earned 4th place medal on my own, as well as in the 4x400.

I was so excited for my senior season. My coaches were expecting me to break my school record for the 800m, and return to the District Meet and earn an even higher finish.

Unfortunately, none of this happened. During the winter season of my senior year, I strained my quad. No big deal you may think.

But I was so stubborn and refused to stop training. I re-strained my quad many times, to the point where I was in pain walking. I finally went to a doctor, who told me if I strained my quad one more time, I likely would have torn it in half. I was prescribed physical therapy for two months, taking me right up to the beginning of spring training. I was very stressed out, as I was not clear to start running let alone do any speed work, but I did my best to trust the time.

Sprint season rolls around and I am cleared to run. At this point I have completely lost all the strength, speed, and endurance that I spent the winter building. 

At our first meet I ran my slowest 800 time ever. This began a season of failure in my mind, where I spiraled into an obsession with numbers. I gained 20 seconds on my 800m PR.

Meet after meet, I was nothing but disappointed. Not only did I not qualify for Districts like I did in all my previous years, but I didn’t even qualify for the County Championships.

I went home after every meet disappointed, in tears, and burnt out. I wanted nothing but to just hang up the spikes.

When the season ended I had never experienced such a feeling of relief. However, I felt a new season hanging over my head: collegiate cross country. I had never ran cross country before, so I tried to go into it positively and with no expectations, but I couldn’t shake the anxiousness I was feeling around running.

I hated running so much, to the point where summer training was the worst part of my day. When I arrived on campus in August, to my surprise I was met with something that may have changed the path of my relationship with running.

I was somewhat successful during my first year of cross country, which helped me to be excited for indoor track. The first time I ran the 80 collegiately I only ran 5 seconds off of my PR.

I finished through the line with tears of joy in my eyes. All through the spring season I consistently ran within 2 seconds of my PR.

I felt like me again. With that confidence returned my love for running. 

       In my sophomore season of cross country I continued to PR, and I discovered a new love for longer distance running, dare I say that now cross country is my favorite season. In both indoor and outdoor track I was painfully consistent, running 1 or 2 seconds off my PR. I was so close, and I felt starving for that new PR I was chasing. 

      I just finished my junior year this past May. During my college career I have completely adapted a new perspective. After my senior year of high school my brain viewed racing as a threat. Since, I have been able to train myself to see it as an opportunity. I get to run. I get to race. I get to experience this.

Every time I lace these sneakers, it is a blessing. This year in cross country I dropped a minute and thirty seconds off my 6k PR. I have never been more proud of myself. It felt like everything was finally clicking and falling into place. I have never entered a track season more confident, hungry, or excited.

Unfortunately right before winter track, I was faced with another injury. This time it had been ongoing and unknown. I am still working through it with no diagnosis. I took a month off of running in January, and made very little progress in recovery. I have never been more frustrated and exhausted in my life, and unfortunately this experience was a new low for me.

Once again, I hated training. Swimming, biking, rehab, and going to practice were exhausting and I dreaded it daily. After X-Rays, MRIs, and EMGs, I still had no answers. I decided to take initiative and do what my body allowed me to. I showed no signs of stress reactions, so I was cleared to run again as long as I was honest with myself and stopped when I was in pain. 

I had lost all of my winter season through trying to figure out what was wrong. The beginning of outdoor season was very rough, which I expected it to be. Most days running led to pain and disappointment.

Finally, finding a good balance between cross training and running, I was able to race a few times before the end of the season. I even tied my PR, after a season of wanting nothing to do with running. I am finally seeing a running specialist and we are working towards me being able to run again, hopefully in time to meet some of my goals for this cross country season. 

This season has taught me many things regarding my mental health as an athlete. It is okay to ask for help. Your injury does not define you. Your role on the team is not defined by your athletic ability.

And finally, if you never tasted a bad apple. you would not savor the ones that are safe. Similarly, if you’ve never struggle in sport, you may never understand how deeply it shapes you.

Resting is a skill, and listening to your body is one of the most important strengths as an athlete. Through injury there are so many things to learn about bettering yourself as a person, and if I never experienced injury, I don’t think I would be the same teammate, athlete, mental health advocate, or human that I am today.

So to that I say, thank you injuries for the growth, experiences, drive, and strength you have given me, both in sports and beyond.

Love,

Tara Haring